Last week, my family (my wife, my daughter and myself) were about to get into our car to go somewhere. My daughter is still 3 years (45 months) old, and she needs to sit on the baby car seat. She tried to open the rear door on the left side to sit on her seat. She is less than 1 meter (3 feet 3 inches) tall, and the door knob was a bit too high for her. She pulled the door knob in an awkward position several times, but it did not work.
After observing what she was doing, both my wife and I told my daughter, “Bidan (her name), you can’t do it. You are still too small”. Then, her response made both of us speechless. She bursted into tears and outcried, “Why do you think I can’t do it? I did it before, and I can do it!”
While soothing my daughter without saying anything, I opened the rear door, held my daughter in my arms, placed her on her car seat, and fastened the seat belt. Then, my wife and I sat on our front seats.
Until we sat on our seats, we could not say anything. After several minutes’ silence, we began to talk. “Yes, she is right. Why do we assume she can’t do it? She wants to open the door and probably she can do it if she keeps trying. We should not pre-judge her capability. Our attitude is not right!”
My daughter’s attitude in this episode is what most parents are trying to teach their children. But, we often say in real life, “you cannot do it yet”, “You are still too young”, “You need to wait some time”, “you need to grow up” whether we say it consciously or unconsciously.
Of course, we cannot allow our children to do something dangerous or unethical for their own benefit. But a lot of times, we discourage their desire, passion, and willingness to do with negative words and expressions. We all want our children to have positive attitude. But we often do not give them enough psychological support. Let’s encourage them.
Yes, you can do it! Do not give up!
And, we will give you full psychological support.