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Posted September 7, 201914 comments | Uncategorized

Why do you think I can’t do it?

Last week, my family (my wife, my daughter and myself) were about to get into our car to go somewhere. My daughter is still 3 years (45 months) old, and she needs to sit on the baby car seat. She tried to open the rear door on the left side to sit on her seat. She is less than 1 meter (3 feet 3 inches) tall, and the door knob was a bit too high for her. She pulled the door knob in an awkward position several times, but it did not work.

After observing what she was doing, both my wife and I told my daughter, “Bidan (her name), you can’t do it. You are still too small”. Then, her response made both of us speechless. She bursted into tears and outcried, “Why do you think I can’t do it? I did it before, and I can do it!”

While soothing my daughter without saying anything, I opened the rear door, held my daughter in my arms, placed her on her car seat, and fastened the seat belt. Then, my wife and I sat on our front seats.

Until we sat on our seats, we could not say anything. After several minutes’ silence, we began to talk. “Yes, she is right. Why do we assume she can’t do it? She wants to open the door and probably she can do it if she keeps trying. We should not pre-judge her capability. Our attitude is not right!”

My daughter’s attitude in this episode is what most parents are trying to teach their children. But, we often say in real life, “you cannot do it yet”, “You are still too young”, “You need to wait some time”, “you need to grow up” whether we say it consciously or unconsciously.

Of course, we cannot allow our children to do something dangerous or unethical for their own benefit. But a lot of times, we discourage their desire, passion, and willingness to do with negative words and expressions. We all want our children to have positive attitude. But we often do not give them enough psychological support. Let’s encourage them.

Yes, you can do it! Do not give up!

And, we will give you full psychological support.

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14 thoughts on “Why do you think I can’t do it?”

  • This is a fun little article that addresses a far bigger issue that is not often talked about in today’s society. Personally, I have seen a trend in adults and people in established hierarchical positions often having little faith in the ability of younger generations to succeed in their goals, showing little trust in their capacity to learn, grow, develop their skills and lead others from a young age. These adults usually disregard the ideas and suggestions of younger people, especially children because they assume they have a lack of knowledge and are unable to solve problems in the world around them. If we do not invest in encouraging, inspiring and supporting our children, then we will struggle to have competent individuals who are have the willingness to work hard, achieve their goals and help those around them do the same. Thanks again for sharing this little experience and good luck on the rest of your parenting journey!

    • Hi, Tristan.
      Thank you so much for your comprehensive insight.
      As you indicated, we should not neglect children’s opinion.
      Often, they are quite right, and we need to encourage them.
      By acknowledging and inspiring them, their capability and potential will be improved and expanded.
      You have indicated three fancy attitudes towards our next generation: encouraging, inspiring, and supporting.
      Thank you for providing your valuable opinion.

  • Very intresting story, thank you for sharing this! I definitely agree with you that parents shouldn’t discourage their children. This is so cool that children want to do something themselves but often their parents saying “You can’t do this” kills their desire to try to do anything new.

    Your daughter’s determenation, will to do something herself and her not wanting to hear that she can’t do it is an example to us all. Thank you again for sharing!

    • I totally agree with you.
      Children’s desire to do by themselves should be encouraged.
      Discouraging through negative words / expressions may kill their desire to try, which may lead them to a wrong direction in their future life.
      Thank you for sharing your thought.

  • Hello,
    What an inspiring article!
    I liked this episode!
    It’s absolutely true what you’re saying. We sometimes discourage our children with negative words. While this attitude reduces their confidence in themselves.
    Your child’s attitude is especially what is most inspiring here. I often think to myself if I could have the attitude I had when I was so small I would move mountains. But this attitude is what we need to really succeed! Never ever give up!!

    • Hi, Sebastian.
      Thank you for sharing your thought.
      As you mentioned, we should encourage our children not to give up.
      And we need to have this attitude as well.
      my personal appreciation to you for your inspiration.
      Thank you.

  • Great post and I completely agree! My son just turned 2 one month ago and sometimes I am about to tell him that he can’t do something because I think he is still too young. And then he does it!

    But like you said, we still have to deny a lot of things from our kids to prevent them from hurting themselves or others. But it is so hard sometimes, especially when you have a hard-headed son like mine!

    • Hi,
      I know exactly what you mean.
      My daughter also has very strong opinion.
      A lot of times, it takes forever to persuade her – keep saying the same thing, but the exactly same response from her.
      It feels like talking to a wall sometimes. 🙂
      Yes. we still have to keep our precious children from harmful / dangerous stuff for their own benefit.
      There is no question about it.
      I hope your son grow up well and healthy.
      Thank you for your comment.

  • Hey!
    Your article on “Why do you think I can’t do it” was very interesting!
    I agree, it is very important to remember to be positive with children when we are able to. It is important to as adults that we are reminded of this from time to time, because we get wrapped up in worrying about what can harm them.
    Thanks for the story about your daughter!

  • Hi, i have a daughter at the same age as yours, and i have had the same experience, when it comes to the car door thing, i usually let her try a little and then i ask if she wants help, and then we open the door together. that always makes her happy. It is really important to not stop them trying things (that are safe). that is how the learn most things in life. thank you for bringing up this important point.

    • Thank you, Simon.
      Your story makes me smile.
      I can tell you know how to take care of a child.
      In my episode, my daughter should not be upset if I waited a bit longer.
      These days, she tries to do a lot of things by herself.
      For example, she remembers the combination and presses password on the door-lock when we come home, she inserts a key to a locker of a storage cabinet and opens it when we go to a public swimming pool, etc.
      I let her do it, and she can , often, do it with little help.
      I know it makes her happy and satisfied.
      Again, thank you for your comment.

  • Very cool and inspiring, Thanks for sharing the story with us. Everything is possible. All we need is a bit of faith and that’s it.

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